A new backpack, a new classroom, unfamiliar classmates, and far more rules than in preschool. Starting first grade is a major transition, not just for the child, but for the entire family. How can you ease a future student's anxieties, what should you teach them before September, and why shouldn't parents turn summer vacation into an accelerated reading course? We explore these questions from the perspectives of a child psychologist, an early education teacher, and a mother of three whose youngest son is starting first grade this year.
Why does starting first grade stir up so many emotions?
A child faces several changes all at once. They enter a new building, meet a new teacher and group of peers, and must learn to concentrate for longer periods, follow instructions, and function according to a school schedule. On top of that, there is the separation from parents and the fear of the unknown. Excitement, curiosity, uncertainty, and even anxiety are therefore completely natural reactions.
The problem doesn't start when a child says, "I'm a little scared," but rather when adults don't allow them to feel that way. Phrases like "Don't overreact," "There's nothing to be afraid of," or "You're a big kid now" don't make the fear go away. Instead, they may teach the child that it's better not to talk about difficult emotions.
It is much more helpful to respond: "I understand that you might be worried. New places can sometimes feel unsettling. Let's think about what would help you feel more confident." This sends two messages to the child: their emotions are accepted, and they are not alone in facing their challenges.
Should parents present school only as an interesting and friendly place?
It is good to speak positively about school, but be honest. Promises that "it will be wonderful and you'll definitely like everyone" can quickly clash with reality. There will be pleasant moments at school, but there will also be fatigue, misunderstandings, and tasks that require effort.
It is better to say: "You will meet new people and learn many things. Not everything will be easy right away, but you can always ask an adult for help." This kind of message builds a realistic sense of security.
Parents should also be mindful of their own words. Stories about strict teachers, bad grades, or their own school failures can be perceived by a child as a warning. What an adult might intend as a joke can sound like a looming threat to a six- or seven-year-old.
What can be done before the first bell rings?
The most helpful thing is to turn the unknown into something familiar. It is worth walking the route to school with your child, showing them the entrance, the cloakroom, the playground, and—if the school allows—the classroom and restrooms. It is also a good idea to attend an open house or orientation session.
UNICEF also recommends getting to know the environment in advance. The organization suggests visiting the school together, practicing daily routines, playing "school," and establishing a sleep and morning wake-up schedule ahead of time. Getting to know at least one future classmate can also be very helpful.
Parents often make the mistake of talking a lot about school without showing the child what a typical day will look like. As a result, the child’s biggest fear isn't the schoolwork, but rather whether they will find the restroom or where they are supposed to hang their coat.
To avoid this stress, it is best to take a few walks along the route to school before the school year begins, check out the surroundings, and discuss who will be picking the child up. If a child knows their teacher's name, where to wait after class, and what to do if they don't see their parents right away, they will feel much more secure. Such practical knowledge provides peace of mind and helps them adjust to the new situation.
What skills does a first-grader really need? Should a child already know how to read and write?
First grade is specifically designed for children to learn how to read, write, and count. Of course, an early interest in letters is an asset, but you shouldn't turn your home into a race or compare your child to their peers.
From a teacher's perspective, independence is often more important. Can the child put on their coat, change their shoes, open their lunchbox, use the restroom, and look after their belongings? Can they say when they don't understand something, express a need, or ask for help? Can they listen to instructions for a short time and finish a simple task?
Social skills are also useful: waiting for one's turn, responding to being told "no," sharing space with others, introducing oneself, and saying, "I don't like that" or "Please stop."
Materials from psychological-pedagogical counseling centers available on the government portal gov.pl recommend developing school readiness through play: conversations, reading stories, sequencing events, puzzles, and rhythmic, constructive, or language games. Exercises should be tailored to the child's abilities and stopped as soon as they become bored or tired.
A child does not always have to win, know all the answers, or do everything perfectly. They should gradually learn that a mistake is not a catastrophe, but a part of the learning process.
Instead of saying "You're so smart," it's better to focus on the process: "I see you tried a few different ways," or "That was difficult, but you didn't give up." This builds perseverance rather than the belief that a child's value depends on a flawless result.
Can shopping for school supplies together help with the transition?
Yes, provided it doesn't become the main focus of school preparation. It's best to let the child choose one or two important items, such as a pencil case or a gym bag. This helps them feel they have some influence over the change ahead.
A child should be familiar with their supplies and know how to recognize them. However, they don't need to be solely responsible for all the organization from day one. At first, a parent can pack the backpack with them, later just check it, and eventually hand over the task entirely.
How should you prepare a daily routine?
Don't wait until the last night of the holidays. It's best to shift bedtimes and wake-up times gradually over a couple of weeks. Children aged 6–12 usually need 9 to 12 hours of sleep per night. Sleep deprivation can impair concentration, behavior, and learning ability.
Also, aim for a calm, predictable morning. Clothes can be chosen the night before, the backpack placed by the door, and enough time set aside for breakfast. A parent's rush is easily picked up by the child.
Starting school is a significant cognitive and social burden in itself. A first-grader still needs free play, physical activity, and time where no one is evaluating their performance, so it's best not to schedule too many extracurricular activities at the start of their education.
What should saying goodbye at school look like?
Keep it short, calm, and predictable. You can establish your own ritual: a hug, a specific phrase, and a wave. Don't disappear without saying goodbye, but dragging out the departure can also increase tension.
A parent can say: "Now you're going to class with your teacher. I'm going to my activities and will pick you up after lunch at this same entrance." Providing specific information about when you will meet again is important. UNICEF also recommends a short, positive goodbye and a consistent separation ritual.
If a parent feels immense anxiety, they should discuss it with another adult rather than burdening the child with it. Children observe our gestures, facial expressions, and tone of voice very closely. The message "you'll be fine" won't be convincing if we are simultaneously gripping the child's hand tightly and asking several times if they are sure they can handle it.
What should you ask your child when they get home?
The question "How was school?" is too broad for a young child. You'll most likely hear "fine" or "I don't know." It's better to ask specific questions:
• "Who did you sit with today?",
• "What was the easiest part, and what was the hardest?",
• "When did you smile today?",
• "Was there a moment when you needed help?",
• "What new thing did you learn about your class?".
However, don't turn it into an interrogation the moment they leave school. Some children need to eat, rest, or play in silence first.
An evening "three things" chat works very well: one pleasant thing, one difficult thing, and one funny thing. Adults should share their experiences too. This helps the child see that everyone has better and worse moments, and that a difficulty doesn't mean the whole day was a failure.
From a parent's perspective, it is also important not to provide the child with ready-made solutions when problems arise. For example, if a child has an argument with a friend, it is worth asking, "What would you like to do about it?" or "Do you just need me to listen, or should we look for a solution together?"
When does normal stress stop being normal?
During the first few weeks, you may notice fatigue, tearfulness, irritability, more difficult mornings, or a temporary return to behaviors typical of a younger child. However, keep an eye on the intensity and duration of these symptoms.
Warning signs include regular refusal to go to school, severe anxiety attacks, long-term sleep problems, clear withdrawal, loss of interest in play, and recurring stomach aches, headaches, nausea, or dizziness that occur primarily on school days. These ailments are real, even if they are rooted in emotional tension.
First, you should rule out any medical causes, then talk to the teacher, school counselor, or school psychologist. The American Academy of Pediatrics indicates that if school avoidance persists for more than a week or if symptoms significantly disrupt daily functioning, professional help may be needed.
You should also check whether the change in behavior is caused by peer conflict, bullying, learning difficulties, or developmental needs that the school has not yet identified.
Parents are increasingly looking for schools that can devote more attention to each student. How does MyVinci School approach this challenge?
For a child starting first grade, it is very important that they do not feel anonymous. A small class size makes it easier for the teacher to get to know a student's strengths, interests, pace of work, and situations where they need extra support. It also helps the teacher notice more quickly if a child is tired, does not understand an instruction, or is having trouble fitting into the group.
These are the very principles MyVinci School is built on. The school promises an individual approach to every child, learning in small classes, and the development of students' personal abilities and talents. A smaller group creates conditions where the teacher can talk to each child more often, observe their progress, and adjust their teaching methods to current needs. This is not about lowering standards, but about choosing the path that helps a specific student achieve them.
An individual approach is particularly important at the beginning of a child's education. Children come to first grade with very different experiences. One may already be reading but find it difficult to build relationships. Another may work great in a group but need more time to complete a task. Yet another may initially observe their surroundings carefully and only start participating actively in class after some time.
In a small-group environment, it is easier to notice these differences and avoid comparing all students against a single standard. A child can receive help when they need it while simultaneously developing areas in which they show particular interest. From a psychological point of view, this fosters a sense of security, agency, and the courage to ask questions. Of course, a small number of students is not a guarantee of a good education in itself — the competence of the teachers, the relationships, and the actual organization of work remain key.
What else distinguishes the MyVinci School offer?
According to information published by the school, it combines the Polish core curriculum with the Cambridge Pathway and conducts classes in a Polish-English environment, supplemented by Spanish. The program also includes experiments, culture and art, sports, modern technology, programming, robotics, and activities that develop practical independence. The school fosters independence and curiosity rather than focusing solely on grades.
An essential element is the Personalised Learning method. It allows children's talents to be developed while taking their interests and emotions into account. MyVinci School also emphasizes learning by doing and individual consultations between parents and the teacher, psychologist, or other staff, depending on the student's needs. This is important because effective support for a first-grader requires cooperation between home and school, rather than two separate worlds.
MyVinci School may be an interesting choice for families looking for a small, multilingual school who care about comprehensive student support. Its strengths include the combination of Polish education with an international program and a wide range of activities held during the school day. Before making a decision, however, it is worth visiting the school, meeting the future teacher, and asking about the actual size of a specific class, how first-graders are helped to adapt, communication with parents, and methods for supporting children with diverse needs.
The best school is not the one with the longest list of activities, but the place that is a good fit for a specific child. If a future student needs close contact with a teacher, functions well in a smaller group, is curious about languages, and likes to learn about the world through experience, the MyVinci School offer may be worth a closer look.
More information about the program and admissions can be found on the official MyVinci School website.
What is the most important piece of advice for parents of future first-graders?
• Don't teach your child school material in advance. Foster their curiosity, independence, and ability to ask for help. We will take care of the rest together.
• Don't compare children. One will start reading in September, another a few months later. One will run into the classroom on the first day, while another will need many goodbyes. This is not a competition.
• Give your child the right to feel excited and scared at the same time. Courage doesn't mean the absence of fear. It means being able to take the next step despite the fear — ideally with a calm, supportive adult by their side.
Back-to-school checklist
Before the school year begins, it's a good idea to:
• visit the school with your child and walk the daily route,
• clearly establish the drop-off and pick-up routine,
• gradually shift to school-year sleep and wake-up times,
• practice getting dressed, using the restroom, and opening their lunchbox,
• teach your child their full name and basic contact information for a guardian,
• show them how to ask a teacher for help,
• pack the backpack together instead of doing it entirely for them,
• leave time after school for rest, physical activity, and free play,
• listen to your child's emotions without judgment,
• stay in touch with the teacher and reach out if difficulties persist.
Starting first grade is a big change, but it doesn't have to be scary. A child doesn't need a perfectly equipped backpack or to know the entire alphabet. What they need most is the feeling that they can try, make mistakes, ask questions, and return to an adult who will calmly help them navigate this new world.
